I'm kind of reeling at the moment. I found out today about a marriage in severe trouble. I've known for years that their marriage had some major problems, so I have often prayed for them, but not nearly as much as I should. I have so admired how he has endured a bad marriage through thick and thin. I guess I thought that his determination to maintain their marriage would be enough. He did everything for his wife. He sacrificed his wants, his needs, even his career for her. He has lived their marriage like her servant treating her like a queen.
Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? We women are born wanting to be treated like a queen. We want our men to worship at our feet, to meet our every need, to provide us with a decent home, keep us safe, meet our every emotional need, to do all this in a romantic manner and to do all of this while looking good. Yet isn't this what Jesus has done for us, and promised to do for us.
A thought stuck me today as I pondered all of this. Isn't that how we as a Church also treat God nowadays. We expect to pray our little prayer of salvation, and then just rest in His arms, while He provides for our every want and desire. While God wants to take care of us, I think He is getting tired of our selfishness. We cannot expect to have a healthy relationship with God, if we don't give back to Him. We need to work at showing our love for Him also.
I found something else out today that also disturbed me and opened my eyes in another way. They don't talk to each other. I knew he wasn't the type to really talk about things. He doesn't like conflict. He would rather ignore the elephant in the room than figure out how to remove it. No wonder their marriage is failing, if they didn't talk to each other.
I cannot expect to have a relationship with God, if I do not talk to Him, any more than I can have a relationship to my husband, if I do not talk to him. In the same manner, my relationship with God or my husband will not thrive, if I do not listen. I also have a husband who doesn't really like to talk, especially about thoughts and feelings, but I have learned that I, as his wife, need to draw him out and then really listen to him. I fail miserably at this way too often. We women (at least in my family) love to hear ourselves talk, but truly listening is another thing entirely. That is also true with my relationship with God. It is so much easier to talk to God in prayer than it is to listen to Him. I am great at asking Him for things. I am not so good at asking Him about things, and then listening to His answer.
I cannot do anything to save their marriage, except pray for them, but prayer is a powerful thing. It is powerful in so many ways, yet the one way that we seem to ignore the most, is that it changes the person doing the praying. God never changes, but when I pray and listen to Him, I get to know Him, and that changes me. God is willing to tell me what He wants me to do, to tell me how to love Him back. I have to listen. The same is true with my marriage, with everyone's marriage.
I will pray for them. I would love to talk to them also, if I get the opportunity. For now though, I also hope this makes me more determined to work for my husband, to show my love for him in what I do for him, to draw him out in conversation, to really listen to him. I also hope that this will help me to do the same for my Heavenly Husband.
